In Mariah Carey's Twitter bio, her location is tagged as "citizen of the world dahhhling". It's likely the most humble statement she could fathom, but it's still a flex - because Mariah, sweet children, is a queen. She is a diva. She is the queen diva. And we have no choice but to address her as such. She knows her worth and encourages women everywhere to know their own, and she inspires us by inspiring herself. A true legend.
Over the weekend, Mariah broke the internet with one simple tweet. Some were taken by complete surprise that Mariah, the Elusive Chanteuse, had the ability to make a funny online. But if you've been paying attention to Mariah, you know she loves to crack jokes - and half the time, it's at her own expense. If you're unfamiliar with Mariah's sense of humor, fret not: we have you covered.
These memes are for everybody
Armed with nothing but a Marilyn Monroe quote and two polar opposite photos of herself, Mariah shut Twitter all the way down on Sunday afternoon. Her tweet wasn't quite original, since there were others floating around before hers, but Mariah's version is definitely one of the most popular and the most hilarious. Everyone knows she was dressed all the way down for her role in Precious, so for her to use one of her least glamorous looks for a moment of online fun? It's almost like she's one of us.
I just think it's funny how...
"It's funny when haters get on here and think they're irking me when it actually makes me lmao and appreciate everyone else that much more." In 2009, we were all figuring this Twitter shit out together. Mariah was right there alongside us, but she was leaps and bounds ahead of the rest of us. Mariah's version of "I just think it's funny how..." is brilliant for more reasons than one. But the main one: it gives you the visual of Mariah Carey laughing - so elegantly, so richly - at tweets from people who want to bring her down, but will never have an impact on her actual life. She effectively trolled her trolls, and there's nothing better than that.
Brunch is canceled
Mariah Carey has canceled brunch, I repeat: Mariah Carey has canceled brunch. And if there's absolutely anybody who could make such a declaration, it's her. Most people would scoff at anyone trying to take away their beloved excuse to get [censored] up on a Saturday afternoon, but someone with the style and taste of a Mariah obviously has the inside scoop on what trends are coming and going, right? Right? Linner is the new brunch.
Katy Perry can't keep a secret
Once upon a time, a loudmouth woman named Katy Perry told all of Mariah Carey's business. Now, I don't usually dabble in other people's dirty laundry - literally and figuratively - but I couldn't help but turn into the eyes wide open emoji when Katy Perry had some salacious tea to spill last month: "One time I heard a rumor that Mariah Carey used to have puppies backstage at her request to make her feel happy and this is making my pop star dreams fully come true." Lucky for Katy, Mariah was in a light, forgiving mood, and responded with a quote from Mean Girls, classic American cinema: "That was one time."
It's a tweet, not a thesis
Everybody's been hemmed up by the grammar police on Twitter at least once. If you haven't yet, count yourself lucky. Then take a look around - you're alone, aren't you? Don't worry, you'll be joining the rest of us soon. And chief among us is Mariah Carey. You should take notes from this tweet. Mariah doesn't have time to be bothered by the people who spend all day hunting for errors in her internet musings. "It's a tweet, not a thesis" is a free tattoo idea ready to be laid down. I have a feeling Mariah would say "You're welcome."
Sh*t happens
Ah, yes. The day after the most public blunder of Mariah Carey's career. It was New Year's Eve heading into 2017, and it looked like Mariah just gave up on her dreams of performing on live TV. Social media was on fire the second the performance ended, with many discussing how bad she had [censored] up. The thing about the internet is it is loud and aggressively informative when you step one toe outside of the lines of expectation. Mariah tapped danced all over those lines. And she knew she had to address her shortcomings. Not only did she do that, she used a GIF of herself to accentuate the humanity of the situation. 10/10 tweet, queen.
Mariah needs her tea, dahhhling
This past New Year's Eve, Mariah again found herself onstage, performing live. It was one mere year after the meltdown that saw her leaving her fans more perplexed than entertained. This time, though, she came through with a very Mariah Carey performance, meaning it was still filled with quotable moments like, "They told me there would be tea." She even went so far as to call the situation a disaster, looking around for someone who could save her from a dry throat. It wasn't until after the show was over that she found her much-desired tea, and she took to Twitter to show it off, instantly becoming the IRL Kermit meme. Only Mariah, ladies and gentlemen.
(Complex)
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